GadgetReview

Several months back, we introduced you to the Philips Tapster headphones.  But there’s some bad news here for everyone who was looking forward to them–there’s now pretty much no way they’ll hit store shelves.

The folks out at Crave on Cnet’s Asian subsidiary believe they know why, too–they don’t work.

It’s a strange theme these days, gadgets that don’t work, but the beat goes on (or rather doesn’t) from these headphones.  They were supposed to be a major innovation in playback and volume controls, which are supposedly controlled by tapping and swiping the ear modules.  Under normal circumstances, this would dislodge them from the ear, but with these, they didn’t dislodge.  Something of an accomplishment there, but the problem was, the purported tap-and-swipe system of volume and playback control never materialized.

So a little bit of vaporware for you, folks…and that’s always at least a little sad.

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Oh Japan…have I told you lately that I love you?

You’ve given me some of the coolest, strangest, and most downright preposterous topics to write about of all time.  And today, you’ve given me a topic that’s ALL THREE.  You’ve given me a topic that proves conclusively that you’re going insane and yet you’re also brilliant.

You’ve given me the Tele Scouter, a headset-mounted translation device.

Yes, it’s actually called the Scouter.  For those of you now about to quote Dragon Ball Z, indeed, his power level is over nine thousand.

Anyway, the Tele Scouter uses an imaging device to project images directly onto your retina, and the images in question are fields of text, generated by voice recognition and translation programs that literally show you what someone else is saying, in your language, before your very eyes.

And it’s not just translation, either–there’s talk these can be used in sales pitches to get instant access to customers’ shopping records via face recognition technology.  Now, I don’t know what the long term ramifications are of getting all that light shined directly onto your retina, but the thought of an instant translator IS pretty cool.  The price is pretty salty, as you might expect–about eighty three thousand dollars for a set of thirty, plus the cost of any custom software to go with it.

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The Punjab police, ladies and gentlemen, have stepped boldly into twenty-first century law enforcement technology by receiving a consignment of Tasers, the first of their kind in India.

They’ve become both ubiquitous and infamous in the United States, the devices fire a pair of darts connected to the base unit by thin cables with transmit an electrical current into the subject, thus incapacitating him.

The Punjab police have apparently ordered enough Tasers to outfit two entire battalions.

Tales of gross misuse of Tasers follow them literally everywhere, with the classic cry of “Don’t tase me, bro!” intermingling with stories of the devices being used for torture as they don’t leave marks on the body.  Considering the sheer amount of bad press these things have taken over the years, it’s a wonder any police department is actually looking at them.

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The ADE 651 is a device with an impressive marketing angle.  Over in Iraq, it’s being used to sniff out everything from bombs to guns to drugs and beyond, and detect them all from a distance of up to half a mile.  It’s a handheld device, easy to carry, the Iraqi military swears by it…there’s just one problem.

It doesn’t actually work.

ATSC, the company that makes the ADE 651, claims that they work via “electrostatic magnetic ion attraction”, which if I remember my collegiate physics courses correctly means “a bunch of sciencey terms strung together almost at random”.  Independent testing of many similar devices by the Department of Defense shows none of them work much better than pure chance.  And here’s the part that’ll kill you–they sold the Iraqi military fifteen hundred of these things at prices ranging from $16,500 to $60,000 dollars EACH.

And there you go.  The Iraqis bought at least $24 million worth of bomb detectors that don’t detect.

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All right, road warriors, pay attention–because this is some really awesome news, especially if you have to do a lot of time-zone hopping in the course of your travels.  This is also awesome for anyone with a hugely variable schedule that requires you to work, and sleep, at different times every day.

We’re talking about Daylight Savers from Flinders Tech, glasses with a pair of bright blue LED lights that shine directly into your eyes, causing a delay in your circadian rhythm.  Now, circadian rhythms are those things that generally cause you to get tired at the same time every day, or wake up at about the same time every day, or even get hungry at certain times.

There are literally dozens of different uses for this product, though I have to wonder about the long term effects of artificially altering your circadian rhythms. However, for people whose time clocks are already out of whack, this could be the answer to your prayers.

They’re not yet ready for market, so there’s no pricing or release data, but they hope to have them available within the next year.

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Got twenty bucks?  Easily entertained?  Then what I’ve got for you will quite literally blow your mind wide open.

It’s called the HoverDrone, and it’s a little toy hovercraft that actually hovers.

It’s not that much bigger around than a silver dollar, and it floats by generating its own cushion with a small fan on its undercarriage.  It also blinks a little blue LED.  But where this is interesting is not that it’s a tiny flight-capable toy, but rather that it’s the SMALLEST remote controlled flying device ever made.

No, really–it’s just over sixty millimeters in diameter, and it flies.  You can even control the height of the flight by remote, even if the remote is basically “up” and “down”.  And the best part is, you can have one of these for just about twenty bucks.  Even if you’re not that interested in flying a little blue toy with an LED light that blinks, well, it’s almost worth it just to have that piece of toy history in your hands.

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Coming to you today from the folks at fu-bi is the Retro Cube Mini Speaker With MP3 Player.

Basically, it’s pretty much what it says on the box.  It’s a speaker that hooks to your iPod or your PC, with either a headphone jack or a USB cable, and will give you about three hours of music for roughly every hour spent charging the battery.  You can also fill up a USB stick, MMC card or SD / SDHC card with music and play them directly from the speaker itself.

It looks like nothing so much as a old fashioned guitar amp, and this is probably where the “Retro” part comes into play.  They sell for about fifty bucks each, but only can be had in Japan for right now.  It’s kind of a nifty idea, but it’s a little bit short on execution.  I mean, great, congratulations. It’s a speaker.  I’ve got several.  But I like that it can be taken anywhere and will play music from outside media, turning it into a pocket stereo.  It’s the kind of thing I could’ve used back when I was in high school.

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Consider this a cautionary tale against trying to fix your iPod or your iPhone yourself.  Recently, a guy over in Sussex (like the European Sussex) tried fixing it.  And he’d checked online, and discovered that the repair process was not what you’d call difficult.  So he started in, and got the first couple of screws out, but discovered that that glass face plate wasn’t exactly the easiest removal in the instruction set.  So he goes at it with a knife.

You can about imagine what happens here, but let’s just say: explosion, glass shards, eye.

You can connect the dots from there.

So he got himself to the hospital and discovered he’d damaged the protective layer covering his eye.  Now he’ll be wearing an eye patch for the next several weeks, and imagine the shock and horror he felt upon coming home and seeing the shattered iPhone, right where he left it.

Consider yourselves warned.

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And there’s yet another competitor throwing its hat into the steadily crowding e-reader arena (we get any more hats in there and we could open up a millenery shop!), but it’s not exactly from a source you’d expect.

Creative Labs is taking a run at the market, with a unit they’re calling the Zii MediaBook.  Now, this actually has some pretty choice add-ons with it, like a touchscreen, text to speech functionality (it will READ you a book) and an SD slot, plus, it will be “Internet-enabled”, though no one’s sure if it means 3G or WiFi.

Also on the unsure list are the Zii’s release date, its price structure and any content delivery methods, (pictures of the device were also in short supply) though word is Creative’s in talks with several different providers, and not just for books, either.  This could be one to watch…or Creative Labs could think better of it and stay out altogether.

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If you’ve got any kind of interest in e-readers, then you know they can be a bit pricey.  But the jetBook-Lite from ECTACO is looking to change all that by selling for $149.95.

The jetBook-Lite is officially, as of this writing, the cheapest e-reader device on the market.

Now, when you get a low-cost device like this, naturally you give up a few things.  Tops on the list is 3G wireless connectivity and color secondary screens.

However, what you DO get is support for pretty much any ebook format on the face of the earth, including eReader DRM from Barnes and Noble.  Plus, you also get support for multiple languages and a built-in dictionary, a rotating screen that can handle portrait or landscape mode, and last but not least, and incredible twenty three hours of run time on the strength of four AA batteries.

It’s a pretty good value for a cheap e-reader.

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