Every year, Thinkgeek rolls out a bunch of satirical products on April 1st, and every year, it’s a delight. And increasingly, the response is voluble enough that ThinkGeek actually lays down the money and makes some of its “fake” products a reality. So it is with the Tactical Necktie.
The tie originated as a parody of the site’s own love of “tactical” gadgets that are seemingly useful but realistically pretty useless. The common slang for these in the industry is “tacticool,” and the Tactical Necktie was a hilarious send-up of these gadgets. Just like the real stuff, it’s made of black nylon, has two pouches, and even has a molle system and d-ring built into the tie, you know, in case you want to clip your keys to it or something. Oh, and there’s a laser pointer.
Wait, This Is Real?!
It is now! Apparently the reception of the Tactical Necktie was so enormous that ThinkGeek made it a real product. In fact, they actually improved it from the original. You can now remove the pouches from the tie so that it can be vaguely more presentable than your average Tactical Necktie. The D-ring and molle system, though, will still be there, making you look a bit like Solid Cubicle instead of a professional about to go into a meeting.
Really, this mostly exists to tweak the guy who is way, way too into some types of “tactical gear.” About the only way this could be more pointedly satiric is if it had some paracord tightly wound around the knot. But, if you want a goofy tie for work, or keep losing your laser pointer, this might actually be useful. Otherwise, consider wearing it around the kind of person who likes to tell you at length about their Splinter Cell fandom.