The Snowball Blaster Pro Will Make You King Of Snowball Fights

Winter is coming, and with winter comes the joy of packing snow into a sphere and creaming those you supposedly love most in the face with it. Like all contests between dear friends, though, it’s 100% OK to cheat, provided you don’t put a rock in the middle of the snowball or something. That said, though, this snowball launcher might just be something of overkill.


Sold by, who else, Hammacher Schlemmer, this is basically a snow cannon. You don’t even have to craft your own snowballs; you just fill the chamber and snap on the lid, and it makes three softball-sized snowballs for your firing pleasure. We would not that using wet snow in this thing would quite possibly injure somebody, so plan accordingly.

The blaster itself works on slingshot principles; you pull back the elastic and let fly, and how far back you pull dictates how far away, or how hard in the face at point blank range, your supposed loved one will take a snowball. On the bright side, the lack of battery operation means you can fire snowballs at people not willing to pay $35 for a snowball cannon to your heart’s content. Maybe there’s a lesson about capitalism in there? Nah.


Snowball Blaster Pro isolated

Now, far be it from us to tell you that a $35 snowball cannon is worth the price to take out your friends at range. Instead we’ll just point out that this is, by far, the most reasonably priced absurd item Hammacher Schlemmer sells, and that there’s always that one guy who has to take it too far in a snowball fight. If you know that guy, and you’re sick of him, this might be a useful investment. If you are that guy, maybe stop being that guy before you get a snowball to the face from 80 feet.

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Dan Seitz

Dan Seitz is an obsessive nerd living in New England. He lives in the Boston area with a fiancee, a dog, a cat, and far too many objects with processors.

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