As a general rule, it’s a bad idea to wear a ski mask in most places. We tend to associate it either with terrorists or armed robbery, and nothing ruins the holidays like getting a shotgun wound at the liquor store. So if you wear a ski mask, it should be goofy, or scary in a whole other way… like this Cthulhu one!
Warm and Fuzzy, Albeit Not Figuratively
To start with, this isn’t just a ski mask with a pattern knitted into it, although those can be fairly impressive in their own right. No, this is a full-on ski mask, completely knitted, and it even comes with a set of tentacles hanging over your mouth, which is perfect for both protecting your face from the elements and spontaneously creating piles of yellow snow underneath small children.
The Call Of Snow Shoveling
Also a nice touch for this particular ski mask is that you can wear it for more than five minutes without your entire head feeling like you need to scratch it. That’s because it’s made with non-scratchy yarn, and in a nice touch, it’s 20% egg protein, so those of you who don’t like the idea of sheep being sheared (or lots of wool pressed against your face) will be much happier. Needless to say, it’s also been dyed a very, very bright green, both for better visibility and for tradition’s sake.
Fashionable Providence Headwear
While this face mask isn’t likely to get you worshiped by nutty people who want to die first when you arrive on our plane of existence, it will keep your face warm and appropriately mark you as a huge nerd. It may also have the added advantage of confusing and terrifying the various people trying to annoy you over the holidays. All this for $25, but act fast; there are only 11 left.