Watching Hugh Jackman pound robot heads into submission last month didn’t quite fill our mechanized fighting needs.  These Bionic Bopper Cars from Hammacher will surely fill the void, though.

Remember bumper cars?  Add a head, robotic arms and a joystick and you’ve got two fighting robots that can move left, right, forward or backwards at up to 3mph thanks to an internal Honda powered gas engine.  A set of independent joysticks activate two pneumatic-powered, tire-tread-fisted arms.   Pull the trigger and your robots will slug your opponent directly in the head.  There doesn’t seem to be a blocking option, so the game boils down to strafing, otherwise known as dodging.  The built-in bumper at the foot of the robot ensures that the optimal distance is achieved to score a punch.  And when a punch lands the robots head will sling back where upon the chest mounted display will tally a point.

The gas tank provides up to 5 hours of continue sockem and rockem fun, that is provided you don’t choke from the fumes, while a 12-volt battery powers the electronics.  Hammacher says you’ll need at least a 16-foot smooth surfaces to deliver your punches from this $17,000 duo.

Kids hate cleaning their room.  If you’ve got one of those troublesome tikes then you know that the process to convince them to do so can be as agonizing as pulling teeth.  Unless of course you’ve got one of these, the Working Pedal Powered Forklift.

It’s made from ABS plastic and can lift objects up to 6.5lbs in weight.  Just like the life sized version, it will tilt backwards to compensate for the load.  Unfortunately, the fork lift is hand cranked, so pedaling will only get your kid from point A to point B.  Nevertheless, the plastic tires are outfitted with rubber grips for added traction and the seat is adjustable allowing it to accommodate up to a 55-inch, 110lb operator.

So what happens when your kid out grows this?  You return it.  Hammacher offers a lifetime guarantee which allows you to get your money back if the product ever disappoints you.  Good, because at $320 you might wanna put that towards your kid’s college fund and not a senseless, albeit cool toy.

Now, where is the adult version?

Sometimes we wonder where Hammacher Schlemmer gets their inspiration for designing products. But in the instance of the Backpack Umbrella no pondering needed as the product clearly takes a cue from Inspector Gadget. But unfortunately unlike the cartoon character it doesn’t eject from your head, but a back pack and requires you to unzip, remove the umbrella and attach it to the pack’s built-in, adjustable support rod – the company says this only takes seconds. A set of shoulder and waist straps insure everything stays secure and when deployed it covers up to a 39 1/4″-diameter. The product is clearly marketed towards those who have too much in their hands to carry an umbrella, but then that begs the question of why not just put some of that stuff in a backpack? After all if the rain’s trajectory changes or there is a sudden gust there will be no way to compensate.
Hammacher is selling the backpack Umbrella for $40.
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Reign supreme on the snow ball field this winter with the Snow Traceball.  It’s shaped just like the Xistera used in Jai alai – balls in that sport reach speeds of up to 188mph.  The base of the weapon/toy has a built-in mold for shaping and packing snow balls for maximum velocity.  While this isn’t the first snow ball apparatus we’ve seen, it might be the most dangerous.  Toss in some ice balls and we’re probably talking retinal detachment and other ocular injuries.

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Has the pocket watch already become the next hipster accessory?  The above pictured Atomic Pocket Watch from Hammacher Schlemmer receives the correct time via daily radio signal from the atomic clock at Fort Collins, Colorodo, assuring that it won’t lose or gain a second for the next 30 million years.  Crazy sounding eh?

Featuring analog and digital displays the watch is made from surgical grade stainless steel and comes with a 14″ stainless steel chain terminates in a lobster-clasp for big dangling.  Get yours now for $150.

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From the catalogs of Hammacher Schlemmer comes the HD USB Antenna for your PC.  With it, you can effectively receive and record local HDTV broadcasts.  The antenna and the ATSC Tuner supports up to 1920 X 1080 resolutions and you can also receive FM radio stations.

Software is also included that will enable you to schedule and record programs.  The antenna is compatible with PCs running Windows XP SP2, Vista, and Windows 7 (32-bit versions only).

If you feel like you need this it’ll cost you $80.

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Sometimes I get to thinking that Hammacher Schlemmer is the Thanko of people with too much money.  Because they’ve brought out some really weird and overpriced stuff, and they’ll continue that awesome tradition with the Autonomous Saucier.

Say that out loud a couple times, let it roll on your tongue. Autonomous. Saucier.

It’d make a great name for a band, wouldn’t it?

But all kidding aside, what the Autonomous Saucier does is basically keep skin from forming on your gravy.  It’s an automated whisk that you lower into your sauce pan, rest on its feet, and let it spin and revolve around the pot, constantly stirring and keeping your sauce from scorching and sticking to the pan.

It’s powered by four AA batteries, can withstand temperatures of up to 572 degrees Fahrenheit and costs $39.95.  Yes, you’re paying forty bucks for what amounts to an automated whisk.  But if you make a lot of homemade sauces, then you just might want one of these.

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If your coffee maker is talking to you in the morning, it means one of two things:  one, it’s long past time to switch to decaf, or two, you have a Hammacher Schlemmer voice interactive coffee maker.

This coffee maker will actually ASK you questions.  Questions like “Would you like to set the clock or set the coffee brewing time?”, and you’ll respond in kind, with simple commands like “Set the coffee brewing time.”  If you want the coffee maker to start talking, just press the “talk” button and the little coffee chatterbox will start up.

Meanwhile, on the coffee maker side of the equation, it includes a reusable, dishwasher-safe plastic filter and brews up to ten cups in a detachable carafe that you can leave on the maker to stay warm.

Just in case your early morning instructions to the coffee maker sound less like commands and more like popular Klingon love ballads, you can also operate the device manually.

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If you’ve got a hundred and thirty bucks to drop and you’re getting just so gosh darn sick and tired of people always noticing that you’re carrying a camera around, then you may be interested to hear about the Hammacher Schlemmer pen camera, a small, sneaky little spy cam built into a pen.

It records video from up to fifty feet away and can record in 6y40 x 480 resolution, which isn’t half bad for a tiny little pen camera.  Also, it has onboard internal memory sufficient to hold two and a half hours of video.

The best part is the price–you can live out all your James Bond fantasies now for just a measly hundred and thirty bucks, like I said above.  And just in case you were wondering, yes, the pen function does actually work.

And you can even buy them direct from the manufacturer, and there’s never been anything wrong with that.

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The Metal Detecting Sandals might cater to the lazy, but seeing as they look like a house arrest anklet, you might be doing a fare amount of running, from the law that is.  The sandals create a magnetic field beneath your feet and when distorted by any metal object up to 2 feet underground the battery pack can either buzz, flash or emit an audible alert.  Available now for $59.95.

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Full release after after the ‘leap’

NEW YORK, June 8 /PRNewswire/ — Now there is a way for beach combers to treasure hunt without carrying a handheld metal detector and wearing a bulky headphone. Hammacher Schlemmer, which for 161 years has offered unique products that solve problems, introduces The Metal Detecting Sandals–footwear that allows you to unobtrusively locate buried artifacts as you stroll the beach.

The Metal Detecting Sandals have a copper coil built into the right sandal–powered by a battery pack that straps to your calf by an elastic band. Using beat frequency oscillation technology that creates a magnetic field, the battery pack alerts you to the presence of metal up to 2′ underfoot by using flashing red LED lights and either a gentle vibration or a clearly audible buzz.

“The Metal Detecting Sandals can be used to detect buried treasure or worn just for leisure by detaching the battery pack,” explained Hammacher Schlemmer’s General Manager, Fred Berns.

The Metal Detecting Sandals require one 9-volt battery (not included) that provide up to six hours of use. The sandals have PVC uppers, non-skid soles, and polyurethane foam footbeds. The black sandals come in two unisex sizes.

For more information about Hammacher Schlemmer or their products, please contact Breanna O’Day at (847) 581-8739 or via e-mail at boday@hammacher.com

About Hammacher Schlemmer

Hammacher Schlemmer is America’s longest running catalog, offering the Best, the Only, and the Unexpected since 1848. The company provides unique products that solve problems or represent the only one of their kind, and backs its products by a rather famous Lifetime Guarantee of Complete Satisfaction. Hammacher Schlemmer’s innovative offerings are available through its catalog, online at www.hammacher.com?tid=pr, and at its landmark store on East 57th St. in New York City