If you’ve got Netflix, and more and more of us sign on every quarter, you’ve probably had the painful experience of logging in, looking at your queue… and then scrolling through everything you’ve got, absolutely overwhelmed by choice. And now, according to the Onion, you can pay less for that same experience!

The Scroll Endlessly Plan


Presented with an utterly straight face, the Onion News Network “revealed” today that the Scroll Endlessly plan will cost just five dollars a month, and allow you to, well, scroll endlessly. Instead of picking a movie that you maybe sort of heard of and trying to watch it, only to realize you’re not into it and go find something else, you can just keep scrolling through Netflix’s lengthy collection of movies and TV shows, and save money doing it.

Paralyzed by Choice

The Onion is, of course, just being a little sassy with Netflix, but as we can all attest, this happens a lot. There are some psychologists who believe that we’re actually more dissatisfied by choice; we want it, but once we have it, we have no idea what to do next. Namely, that as human beings, we’re happier when we’ve got limited options. Although, in the television world, it’s worth questioning that assertion because, come on, have you ever tried to just stick to the four broadcast channels? You’ll probably find yourself looking at your library of choice instead.

Scrollin’, Scrollin’, Scrollin’


While sadly, or maybe not so much, the Onion is not real life, expect this to keep happening. The trend in television to provide us with more and more choice, especially as streaming video takes prominence. On the other hand, back when we only had four channels, a lot of us wound up complaining about lack of choice. So maybe people just whine a lot?

Dan Seitz

Dan Seitz is an obsessive nerd living in New England. He lives in the Boston area with a fiancee, a dog, a cat, and far too many objects with processors.