There are many ways to express your love of the Empire. You could volunteer to train stormtroopers, or perhaps try and fill in the swamp of Dagobah. Or, if you’d rather stay alive, and make an absolute litany of terrible Star Wars jokes, you could get the Death Star Cookie Jar.
Fully Armed And Operational
Sadly, the Death Star Cookie Jar isn’t fully operational in the sense that you can destroy a planet with it. There’s been an unfortunate delay as the Empire’s engineers try to work out how, exactly, to cram a planet-destroying laser into a thick layer of ceramic. Also they were muttering something about the Kickstarter not going according to plan. But this is at least functional in one way: Allowing you to properly store your cookies. Which is almost as good.
Feel The Force… Of Baked Goods
The jar itself is the classic ceramic we all know from cookie jars past, which means it’s actually probably tougher than the original Death Star, if you think about it. It’s made of a glazed ceramic that gives it a nice gloss for impressing nearby Sith, and a flat base so it can wait while its target, in this case your diet, comes into view. Finally, there’s a twist lid so cookies stay fresh and smaller invaders can’t ruin their appetites. Or you could fill it with stormtrooper figures, because really, where else are they going to go?
That’s No Moon
So, you may not be able to threaten your neighbor with destruction using this; we recommend renting an AT-AT for that job. But if you want to keep your cookies fresh, while avoiding getting Force-choked by Lord Vader, it’ll be a good way to show your allegiance. Impressing the Imperial forces will cost you $55.79, currently; they’re in stock at Firebox.com.
Dan Seitz is an obsessive nerd living in New England. He lives in the Boston area with a fiancee, a dog, a cat, and far too many objects with processors.