Halloween is coming. For kids, that means dressing up in funny costumes and running around the neighborhood collecting delicious, sugary treats. For adults, that means dressing up in funny costumes and standing around somebody’s house, drinking delicious alcoholic treats. And the Pumpkin Tap can help!

Pumpkin Ale Distributor

As you might have guessed, the concept is fairly straightforward; it’s a tap designed to be shoved into a pumpkin, or anything else with a thick, yet biodegradable, keg-like rind, like a watermelon. And unlike traditional methods of combining alcohol with fruits and vegetables, this one requires neither soaking not that much planning. Just scoop it out, paying special attention to the seeds since they can jam the line, shove in the tap, and you’re good to go.

Quality Tapwork

The tap itself is a fairly well designed piece of beer distribution technology. It’s made of brass, which won’t react with the alcohol or other liquids you might choose to dispense, and it has a nice chrome finish so it’s easy to see in the dark. The shank, 7/8ths of an inch in diameter, is designed to be stabbed right through the pumpkin in the most Halloweeny way possible. In other words, it’s pretty much foolproof both to put together and to disassemble, which is probably a good thing if you get an overly large pumpkin and fill it with something festive, like ice cider.

Drink Responsibly


The only real drawback here is figuring out where you’ll keep this thing during the rest of the year so you aren’t mistaken for somebody who thinks it’s still kegger night on the quad. But being mistaken for somebody less grown up that you might prefer is a small price to pay for impressing your friends at a Halloween party with zero effort. The Pumpkin Tap Kit is $31.25; bring your own gourd.

Dan Seitz

Dan Seitz is an obsessive nerd living in New England. He lives in the Boston area with a fiancee, a dog, a cat, and far too many objects with processors.