There really is such a thing as too paranoid. Kids are going to do dumb things no matter what adults try to do to teach them not to, like wander off. But, at the same time, it does make sense to be able to track your kids down if they get lost, and give them a phone if they need one. Which is where Filip comes in.
A Cell Phone They Won’t Lose
Basically, Filip is a stripped down smart watch. Instead of being all things to all people, it’s designed to be one specific thing to small children, namely a phone to reach their parents, a tracking device, and an alarm button.
Need their location? It’ll tell you with a simple click, using GPS, cell tower triangulation, and WiFi networks nearby to get as precise a fix as possible. The phone is a GSM device, so it’s got a lot of coverage, and hey, it’s not like they need unlimited data, or even more than a handful of cell minutes. You can even set “safezones” for them.
In other words, you can treat your children like convicts. Hey, don’t lie: We’ve seen how they act.
All of this is contained in a chunky plastic wristlet in various bright colors, designed not to fall off. Also, if you’re one of those asinine parents who completely loses all ability to understand science once they reproduce, this is designed to only emit radio waves when in use and direct that radio energy away from your precious child.
Of course, this will do nothing for them since they’re getting hammered by radio waves from WDBG, Rock’s Most Overplayed Classics, but hey, if it makes you feel better.
Useful, But Lay Off The Helicoptering
In short, it’s a tracking device you can clip onto your kids to help you find them, and teach them a growing resentment of your need for control. Pricing will be revealed soon, and you can get one for the holidays.
Dan Seitz is an obsessive nerd living in New England. He lives in the Boston area with a fiancee, a dog, a cat, and far too many objects with processors.