TED, as in the movie starring the talking teddy bar, wasn’t the riot of laughs I expected it to be. Nevertheless, there is no discounting the one liners espoused from the stuffed toy’s mouth. And now you too can own your very own foul-mouthed teddy bear courtesy of Thinkgeek.
It costs $14.99 and although it doesn’t look like the actual TED teddy bear, it sounds just like him as it has been voiced by the man himself, Seth MacFarlane. The recommend age for this toy is 18+, and rightfully so as many of the lines are stuffed full of the F-word.
- “Yeah, I mean, y-you know when you sewed me up you put some of the stuffing in the wrong places so I’m – I’m a little f—ed up, but will you take care of me for ever and ever?… Aha! I’m just kidding you! I thought it’d be funny if you thought I was f—ing retarded.”
- “You ever hear a Boston girl have an orgasm? ‘Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Harder! Harder! Oh, God, that was so good! Now I’m gonna stuff my f—in’ face with Pepperidge Farm.’”
- “Well you never should’ve trusted me. I’m on drugs!”
- “Alright c’mon, let’s sing the Thunder Song. When you hear the sound of thunder, don’t you get too scared. Just grab your Thunder Buddy and say these magic words: F— you, Thunder! You can suck my d— You can’t get me, Thunder, ’cause you’re just God’s farts.”
- “Oh f— that. It’s been 4 years, Johnny! You and me have been together for 27 years. Where’s my ring, huh? Where’s my ring, a——? Where’s my ring, mother f—er? Put it on my fuzzy finger, you f— C’mon!”
Of note, there are 3 AA batteries included, which are user replaceable.