Sure, iPads are great for a lot of things like getting directions on the go, reading the latest bestseller, even watching movies or playing games, but picking women with an iPad isn’t generally something that immediately jumps to mind. It should. Pay attention, guys!
Here’s a quick list of eight ways the iPad can be used to pick up women.
1. YOU GOT IT. The easiest way to pick up a woman with your iPad? Have an iPad. Yup, that’s right. Just owning one of Steve Job’s tablets might get your foot in the door. Simply set up camp at your local coffeeshop, art gallery or bookstore, pull up a good book to read or movie to watch and wait for the ladies to come to you. “Hey is that an iPad?” “Why, yes, yes it is.” OK, maybe, you should avoid that semi-creepball retort which will promptly send her into her bag looking for pepper spray, but regardless just having an iPad is a good icebreaker with some women. They’re still new enough to attract attention even from that cute secretary you see every morning on the train during your morning commute who spends the morning buried in her Kindle.
2. DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND. Sometimes, just having an iPad won’t do. Sometimes, you’ll just have to have the BEST iPad in order to woo that waitress/aspiring actress who works at the diner down the block. Even her snobby model sister will perk up when she sees the Katherine Hughes-designed, gold and diamond encrusted iPad. It costs just under $190,000, so needless to say, love won’t come cheap, but this is certainly an attention getter.
3. SIZE MATTERS. One of Apple’s bragging points for the iPad is its screen size and as we all know by now, no matter what your ex-girlfriend said, to all women, size matters. The iPad’s 9.7-inch diagonal screen is HUGE compared to most other tablets and certainly bigger than all smartphones. But as far as women are concerned, it’s also thin, lightweight and small compared to a laptop. Next time you’re with a group of women and a buddy whips out his iPhone to call up an epic fail video on youtube, pull out your iPad and make him feel like he just doesn’t measure up.
4. DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK. Now that you’ve got her attention, there one way you can avoid getting on her bad side when you’re showing off your iPad. Don’t call it an iPad. Let the iPad talk for itself. When the iPad was first announced, the first thing many women commented on was the …um … unfortunate choice of names. Nothing says let’s get it on like even a remote allusion to a woman’s menstrual cycle. Several blogs called it the iTampon for a while. You get the gist. And consider yourself warned: DO NOT under any circumstances shout anything vaguely or remotely similar to “When do I get to see your pad?” to anyone, especially a woman. You will probably be instantly and irreparably scarred for life, the second the words fall from your lips.
5. PICTURE THIS. Most women love taking pictures or having their picture taken. It’s an easy icebreaker in a club, at the bar or even hanging out with friends and luckily for you, the iPad comes with two cameras. The back camera is capable of HD video up to 30 frames per second with audio and still camera with 5x digital zoom. The front camera is capable of VGA video and stills. The next time you’re at the bar with some friends, ask that cute bartender if she’ll take a quick picture with you and snuggle right up to her. It’s a cheap and easy excuse to get close. If you’re really interested, spend a couple of seconds customizing it with Photo Booth or one of the countless other photos apps and then snag her email so you can send her a copy of the pic.
6. I SEE YOU ON THE BIG SCREEN BABY. Sitting on an eight-hour flight to LA next to a hottie? Pull up a chick flick or the latest Pixar offering on your iPad and her if she’d rather watch that over “Crocodile Dundee.” Added bonus: You’ll have to get close to share a pair of headphones.
7. I DID IT MY WAY. According to Apple, the iPad comes equipped with maps so you’ll “know where you are, where you’re going, and how to get there.” You’ll also be able to help that super-cute, but utterly lost tourist stumbling around the bus station with a few taps of your finger. She’ll be psyched someone stopped to help her and by the time you plot in the coordinates of that cozy little bistro you know she’ll love on the way to her cousin’s house, she’ll be putty in your hands.
8. APPETIZING POSSIBILITIES. If you find your iPad itself isn’t a chick magnet, you can always try out one of the dating apps for your iPad like SpeedDate, DNA Dating or OKCupid. If you know you love your iPad and nothing else, try Cupidtino. It’s a dating app for Apple fanboys and fangirls.