The True Clean Towel has a noble purpose on this earth, making sure you don’t mix the highs and the lows of your toweling experience. In a politically correct world, the True Clean Towel is here to make sure segregation persists when it comes to your face and “other places”.

Good on ya, segregation. The True Clean Towel makes a good point, it’s hard to know which side is down if you’re using the same towel twice with a few hours in between. It simply brands one part of the towel “Top” and one part “Bottom”

Its website makes sure to specify that it’s not a novelty item, but a high quality towel of the usual 5 feet tall by 2.5 feet wide dimensions, made out of 100% heavy cotton. Luxurious feel included, for the same price as a store-bought towel.

So whether you’re rooting for team “Face” or for team “Other Places”, you can support one and diss the other at the same time with the True Clean Towel.