This may well be a truly pompous pronouncement, but the worst of it is that this sheer pomposity is in the NAME of the product.  From Hammacher Schlemmer, it’s called the Only Whole Body Massage Chair, and it is, pretty much, what it says on the box.  It is a full body massage chair that will deliver, at the press of various buttons, Shiatsu, penetrating kneading, and gentle traction to over twelve hundred square inches of your body.  It also includes twenty two inflating air cells in JUST the armrests for massage, and optical sensors that the chair will actually use to build a complete program of massage around your body.

Not bad for a $6,000, huh?

Now, seriously, while this definitely sounds like it delivers in every particular, I can’t help but find something truly ego maniacal about TITLING your product Only Whole Body Massage Chair.  It’s like buying, for example, Only Good Showerhead In The Store, or maybe Every Other Pancake Mix Tastes Like Rat Poison.

But when you deliver as well as this seems to, maybe you’ve got a right to a bit of egomania.